Fiqh | Lesson 47: Shedding tears, Supporting the Family of the deceased, making Duā for the deceased
Saturday 9 Dec 2017
Chapter of Prayer: Funeral Prayer
Lesson 47: Shedding tears, Supporting the Family of the deceased, making Duā for the deceased
Note: the hadiths from this lesson were taken from the Book Bulūghul Marām
- Anas (may Allāh be pleased with him) narrated, “I attended the burial of one of the daughters of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم). He was sitting by the side of the grave and his eyes were shedding tears” [Related by Al-Bukhārī ]
- Note: All of the children of the Messenger of Allāh (صلى الله عليه وسلم) (may Allāh be pleased with them all) died before him except Fatima (may Allāh be pleased with her).
- The scholars have differed over which daughter it is in this hadith as there were several daughters (Ruqayya, Umm Kulthuum, and Zainab) who died before him. However, it is mentioned that it being Ruqayya mentioned here is unlikely as the messenger of Allāh (صلى الله عليه وسلم) was away at the battle of Badr.
- This hadith also shows that shedding tears at the death of someone is NOT classed as being the same as wailing (see lesson 46). This hadith is mentioned here to show that shedding of tears is permissible and is part of the compassion one has for the deceased and one may not be able to control that emotion.
- Likewise, when the son (Ibrahim) of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) died, The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said “Indeed the eyes shed tears and the heart is saddened but we do not say anything except that which pleases our Lord and Indeed we are saddened by your departure O Ibrahim”
- Likewise, the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) also said Allāh does not punish one on account of grief in his heart or for his tears but rather for what he says with his tongue
- Likewise, one of the grandchildren of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) was dying and the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) shed tears
- Jābir ibn ‘Abdullāh (may Allāh be pleased with him) narrated that the Messenger of Allāh (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said “Do not bury your dead during the night unless you have to do so.” [Related by Ibn Mājah. Muslim reported a similar narration, Jābir said in his narration, “The Prophet disapproved that someone is buried at night, unless the funeral prayer has been offered for him”]
- What is the ruling on burying at night? (e.g. Harām/forbidden vs makruuh/disliked). Shaykh Al-Fawzān says it is not impermissible to bury someone at night, Abu Bakr was buried at night and also Fatima (may Allāh be pleased with her) was buried by Ali (her husband, may Allāh be pleased with him) also at night. Therefore, these examples indicate that it is not harām/forbidden to bury at night, and the wording of the hadith itself indicates that it is not impermissible (as one can still do it if necessary) but that burial during daytime is better.
- If burying the deceased at night is going to cause problems with shortcoming such as difficulties with the washing, shrouding or the funeral prayer, then it is disliked doing this at night.
- However, if there are no such shortcomings when burial at night then it is possible to do it (as it was done for some companions as mentioned)
- There are also narrations that the prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) also buried some companions at night
- Hadith of ‘Abdullāh ibn Ja’far (may Allāh be pleased with him) narrated, “When we received news of Ja’far’s death; when he was killed (in the Battle of Mu’tah), the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said, “Prepare some food for the family of Ja’far, for what has befallen them is keeping them preoccupied” [Reported by the five Imams except for An-Nasāī]
- The story of Ja’far Ibn Abī Tālib (The brother of Ali Ibn Abī Tālib) and his battle with the Romans. Ja’far was form among the early companions and also migrated to Abyssinia. The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) sent an army of the Muslims (approx. 3,000 men) to fight the Romans (approx. 100,000 men) and leadership was given to Ja’far. He died and was succeeded by Zaid ibn Hāritha (the freed slave of the Messenger of Allah (صلى الله عليه وسلم)) as leader. When Zaid died, he was succeeded by Abdullāh Ibn Rawāha as leader. When Abdullāh died he was succeeded Khalid Ibn Walīd.
- The hadith indicates that the neighbours should look after the family of the deceased (e.g. making food for them, taking are of any guests etc).
- NOTE: in some Muslim groups, they do the OPPOSITE, that when someone dies the family of the deceased is made to cook food for everyone else! This is a sin, an opposition to the sunnah and is also a very large burden for the family of the deceased in such a difficult time. This is NOT how it should be.
- Hadith of Sulaimān ibn Buraidah (may Allāh be pleased with him) on the authority of his father (may Allāh be pleased with him) that the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) taught us that when we visit graves we should say, “Peace be upon you, O believing men and women, O dwellers of this place. Certainly, Allāh willing, we will join you. We supplicate to Allāh to grant us and you wellbeing” [Related by Muslim]
- This narration tells us about the duā we should make when visiting the graves
- The hadith also shows we can give salām to the deceased.
- Issue: Why does the duā mention the phrase ”insha Allāh” (if God wills) when it is hoped that we would definitely be amongst them?
- The hadith shows that we should visit the grave for the purpose of making duā FOR the deceased and remembering death, and not making duā TO them or seeking blessings
- Ibn Abbās (may Allāh be pleased with him) narrated, “Once the Messenger of Allāh (صلى الله عليه وسلم) passed by some graves in Madīnah. He turned his face toward them saying, “Peace be upon you, O dwellers of these graves, May Allāh forgive you and us. You have preceded us, and we are following your trail” [Related by At-Tirmidhī, who graded it as Hasan]
- This hadith again indicates that we should making duā for the deceased, seek forgiveness for them and remember that we will also one day be amongst them
- This hadith also shows that you can give the salām and make the duā even if you are just passing by and not necessarily going specifically for that purpose
- ‘A’isha (may Allāh be pleased with her) narrated that the Messenger of Allāh (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said, “Do not speak badly of the dead, they have already seen the result of (the deeds) that they sent on before them” [Related by Al-Bukhārī ]. At-Tirmidhī related a similar narration on the authority of Al-Mughīrah ibn Shu’bah, and he added, “Thus you will be offending the living (i.e. if you curse their dead)”.
- Issue: what about people who say “Don’t mention the innovators who have died”. This is incorrect. If the deceased innovator had left books, videos etc which are still being propagated then his must be stopped to preserve the religion.
- Q & A:
- If it is sunnah to give salām to the dead, does this mean they can hear us, is it allowed to ask them for blessings/make duā to them? = The dead cannot hear people talking to them. This is stated very clearly in the Quran [Surah Fātir verse 22]. In fact Shaykh-ul- Islam Ibn Taymiyyah said regarding those who would go to the grave of the pious and ask them to take their duā to Allāh, he said about them that this is from the shaitaan’s (devils) work.
- What if one’s neighbour is non-Muslim, if the neighbour dies should one take part in their funeral? = Muslims should not participate in non-Islamic practices. The exception in this kind of case would be if one’s close relative dies, then one can attend but should not take part in rituals etc.
- Question about condolences
- Question about staying in the graveyard